Your Reflection

So I've noticed that since I started dating "Him", I've been taking a more active interest in my own appearance. Not enough to completely change myself. But enough that I care not just roll outta bed before he sees me.

Which for my lazy-butt is an actual accomplishment. In my daily routine as long as I wash my behind and brush my teeth I'm doing good! No make-up, no hair styling no perfume and all that crap. Just my natural self. And honestly if I do say so myself I look pretty damn good!

And he certainly thought so, because he spends most of time staring at me as I'm working, he thinks I often don't notice him but I really do. Kinda hard not too when a 6'0 foot guy with soft brown eyes is towering from a distance and looking at you from across the room. He's too tall not to be noticed! I've never been much of a girly-girl. But let me tell you. On occasions I catch myself putting on eyeliner, or wearing the right bra and undies set just so I look decent.

Ha, tmi I'm sure. But he makes me feel confident, like I could take on the world. And above all that I look beautiful and sexy. He tells me that once a day. Does your man? Ha, no of course not. He say's it multiple times but I will only mention it once. I don't think some guy's realize what this simple act does for a woman.  Or how a negative word stay's in a woman's mind for years.

Being called ugly, or butch, or homely or things like that, after awhile it starts to sink in and she will start believing you. And right there you literally destroyed her confidence. And it could take years for her to rebuild it. Men like that are the reason women degrade themselves and start tearing down other women to make themselves feel good... and this vicious cycle continues. I think it's awful.

But no one person can change the world. Only change those in the world.. I've started ignoring the thoughts of others. Who gives a crap what some boy say's, as long as the people I care about think I'm beautiful or have a good personality I'm happy.

With "Him" I feel amazing. How does your man make you feel?

No experience

So who thinks that getting a job should be a lot easier!
I remember when I used to feel like absolute shit about being unemployed.
I was a young female "African-American" with by a companies standards no "Experience" so they didn't want to hire me.
Rejection after Rejection, I never gave up because I always knew well how the hell was I supposed to get experience if no one would hire me!

I had good grades in HS, get involved in our school newspaper which I loved! I was a Co-Editor, and designer and reporter. It was a lot of fun.. And for me rewarding.

But do employers care? Not really, most of 'em are like, "Oh, wait I see here you didn't go to college..." And right there their eyes glazed over and at that moment you knew they were no longer interested. And I think that that is UNFAIR, I chose not to go to college not because I couldn't afford it, or didn't have the grades to get into a good college. It was my own personal choice. College was just unappealing to me, I see people make millions or even just nicely for themselves with NO COLLEGE EDUCATION.

Take any of these people, some presidents even!

Top 100 non college educated people (Who didn't go or didn't finish)
1. Abraham Lincoln, lawyer, U.S. president. Finished one year of formal schooling, self-taught himself trigonometry, and read Blackstone on his own to become a lawyer.
2. Amadeo Peter Giannini, multimillionaire founder of Bank of America. Dropped out of high school.
3. Andrew Carnegie, industrialist and philanthropist, and one of the first mega-billionaires in the US. Elementary school dropout.
4. Andrew Jackson, U.S. president, general, attorney, judge, congressman. Home-schooled. Became a practicing attorney by the age of 35 – without a formal education.
5. Andrew Perlman, co-founder of GreatPoint. Dropped out of Washington University to start Cignal Global Communications, an Internet communications company, when he was only 19.
6. Anne Beiler, multimillionaire co-founder of Auntie Anne’s Pretzels. Dropped out of high school.
7. Ansel Adams, world-famous photographer. Dropped out of high school.
8. Ashley Qualls, founder of Whateverlife.com, left high school at the age of 15 to devote herself to building her website business. She was more than a million dollars by 17.
9. Barbara Lynch, chef, owner of a group of restaurants, worth over $10 million, in Boston. Dropped out of high school.
10. Barry Diller, billionaire, Hollywood mogul, Internet maven, founder of Fox Broadcasting Company, chairman of IAC/InterActive Corp (owner of Ask.com),
11. Ben Kaufman, 21-year-old serial entrepreneur, founder of Kluster. Dropped out of college in his freshman year.
12. Benjamin Franklin, inventor, scientist, author, entrepreneur. Primarily home-schooled.
13. Billy Joe (Red) McCombs, billionaire, founder of Clear Channel media, real estate investor. Dropped out of law school to sell cars in 1950.
14. Bob Proctor, motivational speaker, bestselling author, and co-founder of Life Success Publishing. Attended two months of high school.
15. Bram Cohen, BitTorrent developer. Attended State University of New York at Buffalo for a year.
16. Carl Lindner, billionaire investor, founder of United Dairy Farmers. Dropped out of high school at the age of 14.
17. Charles Culpeper, owner and CEO of Coca Cola. Dropped out of high school.
18. Christopher Columbus, explorer, discoverer of new lands. Primarily home-schooled.
19. Coco Chanel, founder of fashion brand Chanel. A perfume bearing her name, Chanel No. 5 kept her name famous.
20. Colonel Harlan Sanders, founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). Dropped out of elementary school, later earned law degree by correspondence.
21. Craig McCaw, billionaire founder of McCaw Cellular. Did not complete college.
22. Dave Thomas, billionaire founder of Wendy’s. Dropped out of high school at 15.
23. David Geffen, billionaire founder of Geffen Records and co-founder of DreamWorks. Dropped out of college after completing one year.
24. David Green, billionaire founder of Hobby Lobby. Started the Hobby Lobby chain with only $600. High school graduate.
25. David Karp, founder of Tumblr. Dropped out of school at 15, then homeschooled. Did not attend college.
26. David Neeleman, founder of JetBlue airlines. Dropped out of college after three years.
27. David Ogilvy, advertising executive and copywriter . Was expelled from Oxford University at the age of 20.
28. David Oreck, multimillionaire founder of The Oreck Corporation. Quit college to enlist in the Army Air Corps.
29. Debbi Fields, founder of Mrs. Fields Chocolate Chippery. Later renamed, franchised, then sold Mrs. Field’s Cookies.
30. DeWitt Wallace, founder and publisher of Reader’s Digest. Dropped out of college after one year. Went back, then dropped out again after the second year.
31. Dov Charney, founder of American Apparel. Started the company in high school, and never attended college.
32. Dustin Moskovitz, multi-millionaire co-founder of Facebook. Harvard dropout.
33. Frank Lloyd Wright, the most influential architect of the twentieth century. Never attended high school.
34. Frederick “Freddy” Laker, billionaire airline entrepreneur. High school dropout.
35. Frederick Henry Royce, auto designer, multimillionaire co-founder of Rolls-Royce. Dropped out of elementary school.
36. George Eastman, multimillionaire inventor, Kodak founder. Dropped out of high school.
37. George Naddaff, founder of UFood Grill and Boston Chicken. Did not attend college.
38. Gurbaksh Chahal, multimillionaire founder of BlueLithium and Click Again. Dropped out at 16, when he founded Click Again.
39. H. Wayne Huizenga, founder of WMX garbage company, helped build Blockbuster video chain. Joined the Army out of high school, and later went to college only to drop out during his first year.
40. Henry Ford, billionaire founder of Ford Motor Company. Did not attend college.
41. Henry J. Kaiser, multimillionaire & founder of Kaiser Aluminum. Dropped out of high school.
42. Hyman Golden, co-founder of Snapple. Dropped out of high school.
43. Ingvar Kamprad, founder of IKEA, one of the richest people in the world, dyslexic.
44. Isaac Merrit Singer, sewing machine inventor, founder of Singer. Elementary school dropout.
45. Jack Crawford Taylor, founder of Enterprise Rent-a-Car. Dropped out of college to become a WWII fighter pilot in the Navy.
46. Jake Nickell, co-founder and CEO of Threadless.com. Did not graduate from college.
47. James Cameron, Oscar-winning director, screenwriter, and producer. Dropped out of college.
48. Jay Van Andel, billionaire co-founder of Amway. Never attended college.
49. Jeffrey Kalmikoff, co-founder and chief creative officer of Threadless.com. Did not graduate from college.
50. Jerry Yang, co-founder of Yahoo! Dropped out of PhD program.
51. Jimmy Dean, multimillionaire founder of Jimmy Dean Foods. Dropped out of high school at 16.
52. John D. Rockefeller Sr., billionaire founder of Standard Oil. Dropped out of high school just two months before graduating, though later took some courses at a local business school.
53. John Mackey, founder of Whole Foods. Enrolled and dropped out college six times.
54. John Paul DeJoria, billionaire co-founder of John Paul Mitchell Systems, founder of Patron Spirits tequilla. Joined the Navy after high school.
55. Joyce C. Hall, founder of Hallmark. Started selling greeting cards at the age of 18. Did not attend college.
56. Kemmons Wilson, multimillionaire, founder of Holiday Inn. High school dropout.
57. Kenneth Hendricks, billionaire founder of ABC Supply. High school dropout.
58. Kenny Johnson, founder of Dial-A-Waiter restaurant delivery. College dropout.
59. Kevin Rose, founder of Digg.com. Dropped out of college during his second year.
60. Kirk Kerkorian, billionaire investor, owner of Mandalay Bay and Mirage Resorts, and MGM movie studio. Dropped out eighth-grade.
61. Larry Ellison, billionaire co-founder of Oracle software company. Dropped out of two different colleges.
62. Leandro Rizzuto, billionaire founder of Conair. Dropped out of college. Started Conair with $100 and hot-air hair roller invention.
63. Leslie Wexner, billionaire founder of a Limited Brands. Dropped out of law school. Started the Limited with $5,000.
64. Marc Rich, commodities investor, billionaire. Founder of Marc Rich & Co. Did not finish college.
65. Marcus Loew, multimillionaire founder of Loews theaters, co-founder of MGM movie studio. Elementary school dropout.
66. Mark Ecko, founder of Mark Ecko Enterprises. Dropped out of college.
67. Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Inc. Did not attend college.
68. Michael Dell, billionaire founder of Dell Computers, which started out of his college dorm room. Dropped out of college.
69. Michael Rubin, founder of Global Sports. Dropped out of college in his first year.
70. Micky Jagtiani, billionaire retailer, Landmark International. Dropped out of accounting school.
71. Milton Hershey, founder of Hershey’s Milk Chocolate. 4th grade education.
72. Pete Cashmore, founder of Mashable.com at the age of 19.
73. Philip Green, Topshop billionaire retail mogul. Dropped out of high school.
74. Rachael Ray, Food Network cooking show star, food industry entrepreneur, with no formal culinary arts training. Never attended college.
75. Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald’s. Dropped out of high school.
76. Richard Branson, billionaire founder of Virgin Records, Virgin Atlantic Airways, Virgin Mobile, and more. Dropped out of high school at 16.
77. Richard DeVos, co-founder of Amway. Served in the Army and did not attend college.
78. Richard Schulze, Best Buy founder. Did not attend college.
79. Rob Kalin, founder of Etsy. Flunked out of high school, enrolled in art school for a time, faked a student ID at MIT so he could take classes. His professors subsequently helped him get into NYU, they were so impressed.
80. Ron Popeil, multimillionaire founder of Ronco, inventor, producer, infomercial star. Did not finish college.
81. Rush Limbaugh, multi-millionaire media mogul, radio talk show host. Dropped out of college.
82. Russell Simmons, co-founder of Def Jam records, founder of Russell Simmons Music Group, Phat Farm fashions, bestselling author. Did not finish college.
83. S. Daniel Abraham, founder of Slim-Fast, billionaire. Did not attend college.
84. Sean John Combs, entertainer, producer, fashion designer, and entrepreneur. Never finished college.
85. Shawn Fanning, developer of Napster. Dropped out of college at the age of 19.
86. Simon Cowell, TV producer, music judge, American Idol, The X Factor, and Britain’s Got Talent. High school dropout.
87. Steve Madden, shoe designer. Dropped out of college.
88. Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple, billionaire. Did not complete college.
89. Ted Murphy, founder of social media company Izea Entertainment. Dropped out of college.
90. Theodore Waitt, billionaire founder of Gateway Computers. Dropped out of college to start Gateway – one semester before graduating.
91. Thomas Edison, inventor of the lightbulb, phonograph, and more. Primarily home-schooled, then joined the railroad when he was only 12.
92. Tom Anderson, co-founder and “friend” of MySpace. Dropped out of high school.
93. Ty Warner, billionaire developer of Beanie Babies, real estate investor, and hotel owner. Dropped out of college.
94. Vidal Sassoon, founder of Vidal Sassoon, multimillionaire. Dropped out of high school.
95. W. Clement Stone, multimillionaire insurance man, author, founder of Success magazine. Dropped out of elementary school. Later attended high school, graduating. Attended but did not finish college.
96. W.T. Grant, founder of W.T. Grant department stores, multimillionaire. Dropped out of high school.
97. Wally “Famous” Amos, multimillionaire entrepreneur, author, talent agent, founder of Famous Amos cookies. Left high school at 17 to join the Air Force.
98. Walt Disney, founder of the Walt Disney Company. Dropped out of high school at 16.
99. Wolfgang Puck, chef, owner of 16 restaurants and 80 bistros. Quit school at the age of 14.
100. Y.C. Wang, billionaire founder of Formosa Plastics. Did not attend high school.

If Steve Jobs, Thomas Edison, WALT DISNEY, Abraham Lincoln etc didn't go or flunked out, why should I go? These people accomplished soooo much more without those high priced pieces of paper than most kids my age (22) do now with Master's Degrees! 

All of my friends but pretty much 1 who've gone to college have actually gotten good jobs. 1 out of my whole graduating class (That I know of). And she's a woman too? Yeah, how are those odds for you college educated folks hmm? And a lot of you graduates are flipping burgers at BK or Mickey's or something in the Fast Food industry. Is that what you went to HS and College for? Debt and to be taking my order and still somehow MESSING up my order btw? My job may not seem fancy to you, but I still love it and the fact that no ones throwing french fries at me, or yelling at me about how you messed my order! (I find nothing wrong with these jobs, but society acts like there is so that's how I'm basing this argument, but still a job is a job!)

I may not be college educated or the Princeton/Yale type. But guess what we that don't go, aren't any less able to do a job that you can do.

So I think companies should let those with no experience or degree, have a god damn chance, we might just change your view and your company.. Just give us a chance.

Take your Meds

Have you ever just really enjoyed being by yourself yet your parents like it's a sin to just want to stay in your room all day and just enjoy the solitude. Why is there such a astigmatism around being a semi-introvert. 

Even the definition of Introvert is appealing!

 Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It's not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it's just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.


See completely innocent. But why is it people feel like they have to "Bring you out of shell" and shit. Well honestly, I like my shell, it's nice and comfy and people aren't jerks in there! In my little world, I have a horse, a husband, and a nice little cottage somewhere people are very very hard to find anywhere near me. 

And it's just such a great little place to live. And then people have to go and try dragging me kicking and screaming into the real world, where people are killing people and cutting fetus' out of pregnant ladies. And NO I'm not kidding this actually happened in my city, and I was just like, Oh-Em-Gee, that is the worst thing I've ever heard of in my life. And honestly I've seen stuff that no person should ever see. But just the thought of killing a baby, and nearly killing the mom (A FIRST TIME mom by the way) is just a HORRID thing to even imagine.

What would drive a person to do these things, what type of CRAZY are you? Or worse this other lady beheaded her newborn daughter on the kitchen table just because. Like, you carried your beautiful baby girl for nine months feeding her, protecting her, talking to her, the whole nine yards, then you just walk into the house and chop her little head off!

That's so horrible, and I hope both of these people really get some counseling and medication and hopefully some jail time.. I mean killing babies?

And yet somehow my friends and family still insist on wanting me to get into the world and make friends...? Um, no, no thank you. My awesome imaginary friends don't do these things. (No I don't have imaginary friends, but if I did... They wouldn't be killers)

 

Music gives you Wings

I love writing while listening to music, always stimulates some emotions.
It brings out those emotions you keep buried, so what better method for a writer with a case of writers block.
Music itself is a form writing, just sung to a rhythm.

 

Mu·sic

ˈmyo͞ozik/

noun

Vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) combined in such a way as to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion.

There's just something about a beat that can change your whole mood. It's like being in a bad break-up. You start listening to music to help relieve the stress, or more importantly the pain. I personally do it every time something bothers me. My last break up was clean cut, no ties to him left, but pretty much same time I started to listening to Sam Smith "I'm not the only one". Because his voice (Sams) pretty much hit home. It told my story without me having to speak about it really. A few thousand repeats later and tears of frustration, I felt a calm suddenly. And that's when I just stopped caring and moved on.

It took me literally a week to purge any remaining emotions from that break-up. Mostly because I saw it coming.. But still, doesn't mean it was heartless about it.

But during that week or purging, I pretty much enjoyed any and all music that came my way, it was like my heart opening and accepting something new.. And I really enjoyed it! I listened to artists I never heard of, to even some old school music that I hadn't heard in awhile... It was the most enjoyable week ever.

And because I took this time to open my heart and mind it brought up opportunities for me.. Like the courage to blurt out to a really hot guy that I've had a tiny crush on for awhile now that he was really cute...

if I hadn't had just heard a song about giving love a chance I might not have said it. Music promotes action. Plain  and simple. By the By, that guy is totally dating me and I couldn't more ecstatic about this new relationship..Thank you Taylor Swift "Shake it Off" and Meghan Trainor "Title", for pretty much giving me some "Balls" as people would say. 

 

Who or what are you?

So am I the only who is still trying to figure what they want to be when they grow up?
Because I truly hope I'm not!
I'm 22 with a killer drive of being a know it all, and somewhat bossy at times.
I love animals, taking care of people, my family and friends, I'm outgoing yet shy.
And somehow have managed to beat the odds of having kids without being married, despite pretty much every girl my age and YOUNGER, having at least 2 kids by now.

Mine is attributed to the fact that I had a strong religious upbringing, and the fact that my father once told me if I ever came to him unwed and pregnant I'd be looking for new parents too. Well his words were a bit more explicit but for the sake some possible young viewers I won't type it.

But, besides my utter fear of my father, I was more afraid of ended up harming my family, and their reputation. I know, I know it sounds old school, but well that's how I was raised. You didn't embarrass your family period..I did NOT want to see my fathers my look of betrayal. Not so much my mom because well, I tend to do things to spite her because she irks me, GOD BLESS HER <3, But yeah, mostly daddy.

I love my father and mother, and not because God told me too, or because they keep reminding me what a brat I am, and continue to be.

But because they stand by me, even when honestly I'm pretty sure my father would have disowned his anyone for thing I've done, my parents forgive me, and accept me for the annoying child that they raised.

I may not be an angelic child, but I sure as hell ain't boring either! Just ask my father, I'm constantly amazing him at how much I'm like him, because well, he's more honest in my opinion, my mom is the nicest woman but she restrains herself from saying anything negative. And that ladies and gentlemen, drives me insane!

It's like physically impossible for most of us. But she manages to be positive and help others pretty much everyday. It's like her superpower, a weird one but for her it works.

Me and Daddy are as blunt as can be. Whereas she can smile and wave her issues away and just be all, positive -shudders- I did NOT inherit that trait. Thank God. I'm positive, but not nearly as much as my mom. Props to you Mommy!

So yeah, I have great parents that secretly drive me crazy, but that I love. NOBODY had better quote me on this. I will deny it. But yes I appreciate them, my dads never-ending stories, and my moms, positivity.

I pick up things from them both, that pretty much shaped me into the person I am today, I think they did a good job. I have a job, no baby-daddies , no STDs, great big mesh of family and guess what else a snappy sense of sarcasm.

Still not sure what I plan to be when I grow it, But I hope all the good people in my life help me along the way, and that the bad ones, show me exactly who NOT to be when I get older.

About Me/ The Dreaded First Post

So as this my second time with a Blog.
I plan on doing this one different.
Posting more, and ignoring the little voice in my head that tells whats right and wrong to say.
So there..

If your looking for a reasonable well thought out discussion, on things happening in the world.
Well, I can't promise I will give a thought out renditioning of it, just my opinion.
Which Lord knows, I'm too scattered brain to do.

I plan on posting about my life, what I see, feel and what I might hear others mention.
Whatever crosses my path.
I've missed writing a lot.
I always say I have no time too, or that it's lame.
But well, all I do now is watch Netflix, don't get me wrong, Netflix is my life blood after work or when I need a distraction..

But I used to read and draw, and I want to get back to that.
So I will.
I want to get back to what made me happy.